Table Top Strategy: All about wargaming from my perspective

 Lately, my son and I have been having table top strategy battles of different flavours. We used mostly One Page Rules (Grimdark Future FTL Warfleets and Grimdark Future Firefights) and some Brikwars (Quickwars-Rules with some house rules attached). I'm not sure where the sweet spot is but as somoene who has been burned by Games Workshops as a teen, I really like systems where you do not need a massive army of minis to fight cool battles on the table.

Like I stated before, anyone can make space ships for Grimdark Future FTL Warfleets from scratch. When it comes to infantry in something like Grimdark Future Firefights, I can't make those myself but one investment into, say, a WH40K Tau scout squad, will set you up with all you need for less than 40 Euros. That's what my son did last week. He could conveivably make two armies of 300 points each out of that set but he only wants to make one anyways.

Anyhow I noticed that there are several very different aspects of the miniature wargaming hobby you can enjoy (or not):

1. Planing your army. Thinking about what to take into battle, what to equip, what their background is. I really like that part.

2. Building your minis.* Some buy whole, some like to craft fine details and customized the crap out of the minis. Others will just take Legos and be done with it.

3. Painting your minis. A distinct step from the one above because people will take stock 40K-Marines and turn them into works of art but eshew any actual crafting in the process. I always disliked painting minis (a lot).

4. Actually playing the game (!). Whether cometitively or just for fun and laughs with friends (different games demand a different level of seriousness, after all). Rolling dice, measuring distances, outwitting your enemy. Like.

*Making a tonk is fun. Playing it is as well. Look at what these two guys (blokes?) are doing with it:

Fuck yeah! The kids and I built several tonks by now. The only downside is the massively printer-unfriendly (but free!) rules doc.

But lets ramble on back to our four kinds of enjoyment of the hobby. I'll go through all table top strategy games I've _ever_ played and rate them on the fun-scale on each four accounts. Also how many units you'll typically field and how much of a money sink they are because yes, that is a big factor.

Warhammer Fantasy Battles (sometime in the late 90s)

1. Planning?

    Very fun. Lots of options, a ton of armies to choose from, highly customizable. Liked it.

2. Building?

    Medium. You could mod stuff but with metal figures it was hard and also GW didn't like too drastic a change (or god forbid third-party-minis) if you wanted to play tournaments at their stores.

3. Painting?

    Lots of painting to be done, that's for sure. For a lot of people this was the main draw of the hobby. I myself didn't like it but that's just me.

4. Actually playing?

    Slow and tedious but all together okay. It didn't really help that we all had different states of information and that the chaos players always seemed to be cheating.

5. How many guys?

    Lots. My dark elves army had like 100 minis in it and that was a normal-sized army.

6. How much money?

    Too much. Fuck you, GW. I spent most of my pocket money on dark elves for several years and then they rebootet them, making my entire army worthless.

Warhammer 40K (sometime in the late 90s)

1. Planning?
    Pretty much the same as with Warhammer Fantasy.

2. Building?

    I think there are more opportunities for customizing in 40k, because there are more weapon-loadouts and more war machines you can modify.

3. Painting?

    Same as fantasy.

4. Actually playing?

    Didn't play as much 40k as fantasy. I remember that my dark eldar sucked.

5. How many guys?

    I think it was fewer models on average than fantasy but it's in the same general area of army-size. Many.

6. How much money?

    Too much, I still think.

BrikWars 2001

1. Planning?

    Almost too many options. You gotta think up a theme and then stick to it. I loved it, still dream myself into the paracosm I made up as the background of my three different armies in BrikWars.

2. Building?

    It's Lego. If you love it, you love it.

3. Painting?

    Nope.

4. Actually playing?

    Fun but don't expect a balanced experience. Also it can take a while if you have complex vehicles (worst of all: robots and/or super-power-users).

5. How many guys?

    As many as you want/have. I think the biggest battle I ever fought had around sixty minifigs on my side but also like two dozen vehicles.

6. How much money?

    Lego isn't cheap but if you already have it...

QuikWars / BrikWars Lite

1. Planning?

    Much quicker than the original BrikWars but also much less detailed. If you obsess over the difference between a sabre and a warhammer or a revolver and an uzi, this isn't for you.

2. Building?

    It's Lego. But you will likely destroy much of it.

3. Painting?

    Nope.

4. Actually playing?

    Quick and messy. Played this with my kids a few times. It's usually quite the massacre.

5. How many guys?

    Easier to handle large numbers of dudes than the original but still, I wouldn't want to have more than a few dozen units on the table.

6. How much money?

    Same as BrikWars 2001.

Next Generation Special Force

This one I made myself. It uses Lego Technics dudes and weapons I made mostly from cardboard and warhammer paint. It's for having small squads fight each other.

1. Planning?

    Takes a lot of planning. I made the rules myself but it is a complex game.

2. Building?

    You gotta make any weapon from scratch. Also  all other gear for your Lego Technics-guys.

3. Painting?

    Equipment and weaponry not included. Make it.

4. Actually playing?

    Very detail-oriented: Kneeling, being prone, sprinting. How many shots to fire in a turn. It's for the people who enjoyed video games like Jagged Alliance.

5. How many guys?

    I only have eight figures for this but that seems close to what I can handle anyways. You could conceivably double that but I think more than that and it gets too bogged down with paperwork.

6. How much money?

    Don't know. Second hand figures go between 5 and 10 Euros upon my last check. You could build a squad for around 30 Euros.

One Page Rules Grimdark Future Firefight

1. Planning?

    Takes a moderate amount of planning. I make little cue-cards for each warrior of a squad.

2. Building?

    You can but I'm better at making war machines and that is more for the regular GDF.

3. Painting?

    Like the original Warhammer Fantasy and 40k. I don't really like it but my son greatly enjoys it.

4. Actually playing?

    Fun! We've played quite a few battles with this system and my son also plays it with his friends. The turn order and the streamlining of attack-dice compared to Gamesworkshops systems is good. Nobody sits around for half an hour while the other player does their turn.

5. How many guys?

    Depends on your army, of course, but I've seen between five and twelve minis fielded in a regular 300 points game.

6. How much money?

    Even if you buy original Gamesworkshop figures you can get a 300 points squad in a single box. My son got himself a Tau squad with drones and his friend has a pack of tyranids and that's all you need. Also you can use third-party miniatures or even print and play little cardboard standies, which is basically for free.

One Page Rules Grimdark Future FTL Warfleets

1. Planning?

    Quite a bit because you'll be customizing each ship you have. In the end you have a fleet sheet with all the info on it and I like it.

2. Building?

    If you want, you can very much build everything you need for this game yourself. I myself have made several fleets and so did my kids. It's fun.

3. Painting?

    Oh yes. You can and should paint your ships.

4. Actually playing?

    It's good. Four turns of intense space battle are fun.

5. How many guys?

    Not guys but ships. A fleet will have five to ten ships plus squadrons if you want those. Nothing too taxing.

6. How much money?

    None if you make it all yourself. Well you need dice but you get it.

Tonks!

1. Planning?

    Not much. Basic tonks are mostly the same. You _can_ do some customization but these are the "advanced" rules.

2. Building?

    Fuck yeah! You can (and must!) make your own tonk. If you don't like crafting, you could use a toy or model tank but seriously, it's about TONK. I use wheels from Kinder Überraschung vehicles for turret mechanisms. You can also use bits of soap dispensers or magnets. Have fun making a crazy tank! If you can't do a turret, a Sturmgeschütz will do as well - just have the cannon attached directly to the hull.

3. Painting?

    You probably wanna paint your tonk. But its's not a must. Do what you please.

4. Actually playing?

    Short, fun, crazy tonk-battles. Very good.

5. How many guys?

    The game posits that every player should field only one tonk but you could conceivably go up to three vehicles per player.

6. How much money?

    None, if you do it right.

Wasteland Carfare

This is my own home-brew remake of Gaslands. Play the original if you want more in-depth driving mechanics and stuff. I will release this sometime this year (in both English and German).

1. Planning?

    You gotta stat those postapocalyptic cars. It takes some planning.

2. Building?

    Take toy cars and upgrade them to postapocalyptic war machines. It's a lot of fun and a great way to use surplus parts from other wargames. Or plastic framing. I used plastic frames and parts of food containers to create some vehicles from scratch even.

3. Painting?

    Not strictly necessary but if you want, you can make small works of art out of your vehicles.

4. Actually playing?

    I love it, my son finds it meh. I guess your mileage varies. A 100-points-battle usually doesn't last longer than half an hour.

5. How many guys?

    A 100-points-warband is between three and six vehicles, usually.

6. How much money?

    If you already have toy cars, then practically none. If you don't they are dirt-cheap (or search the sand-pit of a playground near you. You're bound to find some that are even pre-aged for more postapocalyptic style).

An unnamed Kaiju game by my son

My son invented a mech-vs-kaiju-game played with legos in a little lego city.

1. Planning?

    You gotta stat your mech or kaiju before battle. There are a number of modules/upgrades/skills to pick from. It's quick enough.

2. Building?

    Lego it up. If you like it, you like it.

3. Painting?

    Nope.

4. Actually playing?

    A battle is through in around 15 to 20 minutes. It's fun enough but probably needs more balancing than a 10-year-old is willing to go for.

5. How many guys?

    Just two (plus support in the shape of parasites and tanks, if you choose those).

6. How much money?

    If you already own Lego, it's free. If not, then not.

An unnamed Star Wars space battle game by my son

Also made by my son. This one is about space battles and involves ship-to-ship boarding actions and lots of shooting.

1. Planning?

    You pick your ship classes, you write down what systems they get. It's fairly quick.

2. Building?

    Lego.

3. Painting?

    Nope.

4. Actually playing?

    Space battle lasts anywhere between ten and thirty minutes. It's cool that you can attempt to board enemy vessels and it can even backfire if you lose your crew. That aspect I like most about it.

5. How many guys?

    We played with four vs four ships, which was manageable.

6. How much money?

    Lego.

Sir, You Are NOT Being Hunted part 2

 So I decided that I need some gaming to relax my mind. Like, really relax it. That got me an idea: What if I take an old favourite of mine, Sir, You Are Being Hunted, and turn it into a walking simulator? No threat. Just the moody, gloomy, but ultimately pretty and relaxing British countryside and the need to eat every once in a while? The game certainly makes that possible, without having to be modded or anything. Here's part two:

The pier of the North Island greets me in gloomy weather. It's the industrial island, which in this mode is a paradise for urban explorers. I'm just a hiker though, so I decide to spend as little time in this gloom as possible.

With my binoculars I spy a church in the fog. I decide to go there first and check it out.

I get drunk on mess wine found in said church and enjoy the sunrise.

The next larger structure that lures me closer with its bulk is an old warehouse, I assume. I decide to see what's up in there.

Dynamite! Lot's of it. While there are not enemies to speak of in this world, in real life a bunch of dynamite in a depopulated area means fun so I pocket as much as I can sensibly carry.

I arrive at the outskirts of the industrial town. It still feels like trespassing.

The place is a dump. Literally. I think I'm climbing over a junkyard to get into town.

I normally like waterside properties. I wouldn't want to live here though. But that may just be the weather.

I decide to follow a sprite I see. I don't want to stay on this island forever.

There we go. I don't know what route I took to get here but there are two telebits in somewhat close proximity to each other. In a regular game of Sir, this would be dangerous because you'd have to deal with at least two teams of hunters at the same time. Here it's a nice convenience.

I see the bog monster and toss a stick of dynamite at it. No idea if the explosion drove it off because I overshot by quite a bit. Next time I'll pepper the freaking thing with lots of explosives. Also I realize that the pier is right here – I must have walked around most of the island.

In the dark I use the flashlight to follow another sprite towards the last telebit of the island.

At a factory building I find even more dynamite. I can't carry any more so I do the sensible thing: I get utterly wasted on sherry and toss a bunch of dynamite sticks into the landscape. Blowing stuff up while drunk is the sort of irresponsible fun one can do when alone in post-apocalyptic Britain.

There's the last telebit. After restocking my dynamite stores somewhat, I go and get it.

The way back leads me past an ominous tower. It reminds me of the electric towers at the edges of some villages I know from middle Germany.

I go through a village with the funny name of Misty Cheating. Sounds like a porn starlett.

And discover the overgrown ruin of a factory.

It reminds me of two things: First, an old factory I urban explored on Rhodos. And then of an old monastery church somewhere by the Mosel where we pitched our tents and slept when I was a teenager and we were doing a long-distance tour with the school's rowing club.

When it gets light again, I reach the boat. Time to go back to prettier shores.

To be continued.

Thoughts on Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

 I've started rewatching the three existing Indiana Jones movies recently, whenever family life lets me. Last night I rewatched Temple of Doom, probably for the first time in something around two decades. I have thoughts:

• The movie starts out much weaker than its predecessor. The whole jungle sequence in Raiders of the Lost Ark was much more evocative than Willy singing in Chinese while two dozen wannabe-Bond-girls in yellowface dance. All in all the opening is trying too hard to be James Bond rather than Indiana Jones, if that makes sense in what is only the second movie of the franchise.
• Indy is even more of a thug than in the first movie. Taking a woman hostage like that? The diamond being payment for whatever McGuffin he collected for that guy? And why is he so smug when escaping on the plane - he has nothing to show for? This later turns out to be set-up for character growth. I think.
• How many best friends he previously had tons of adventures with does Indy have stashed away all over the world? He can't be more than 40 years old at this point in time. What gives?
• Willy is a massively annoying character. So much so that I don't understand how Indy decides to go for seducing her. It's not worth it, dude. It's also obvious that the only thing he sees in her is a pretty face.
• The geography is all over the place but let's ignore that. I mean, we don't know how many days the crew spent on that river for it to go from sub-alpine to tropical.
• The elephant riding sequence is uneccesarily long.
• The gross-out-dinner-scene didn't faze me anymore. Most of the stuff I have eaten in one form or another. Standard backpacker-gotta-try-it-once fare. Snake? Had that in Cambodia (though no live baby snakes. Mine was barbequeued). Beetles? You get that in Bangkok at the night market. Eyes? I didn't but I know plenty of people in Mongolia who swear it's a delicacy. Monkey brains? I only had goose brain but you get my point.
• Also these special effects ... were those real baby snakes? Is that a thing somewhere?
• I must mention that Short Round is awesome. He is actually outclassing Indy in this movie. Great acting by Ke Huy Quan. The boy was so into it. I'm glad he got back into real acting with Everything Everywhere All At Once. Shame that the Asiansploitation genre had to come into existence for him to get work like that again after growing out of being a cute kid.
• The secret entrance to the dungeon in the bedroom is cool. So are the traps, crazy and illogical as they are. They are also much more plausible than those from the first movie, considering this palace is still in use and the bad guys presumably do some upkeep work.
• I'd expect the centipedes to be more bitey but that may be my personal fear of that horrible mixture of spider and snake.
• The temple is vastly illogical but also awesome as fuck. I'll give Lucas and Spielberg the benefit of the doubt here. Also, this whole human sacrifice sequence is what Lovecraft would have seen in just arriving at the palace topside because of all these horrible non-anglosaxon people.
• After being captured it is up to Short Round to save the fucking day. At this point, the movie turns into basically one long, drawn out action sequence. The breaks are off (literally, as we see during the mine cart scene).
• Voodoo dolls are more of a Carribean thing, aren't they? Oh whatever floats, Steve and George. I would have saved that one for Indiana Jones and the Creepy Creoles or something like that.
• The fight scenes are done really well. Indy is scrappy and tricksy and even tries to rescue the head henchman from a gruesome death (as a hero should). He fails but the effort put into it shows character.
• Speaking of the fight scenes: Short Round can take about as many bad guys at the same time as Indy can. Like I mentioned before: This is really his movie. Indy is just the dream big brother he has tagging along.
• Willy is fucking useless. She had exactly one scene where what she did was relevant (saving Indy and Short Round out of that trap-room). Before and after that she only screams. A real step down from Marion, from which the franchise would never recover.
• Also, Willy has the same name as my grandfather. Which makes me even more angry now that I realized it.
• The cart ride is, of course, another iconic moment. Copied a million times, this is peak Spielberg/Lucas. I don't have much else to say about it.
• The callback to the sword-to-a-gunfight-scene from the earlier movie is a nice touch – although the fact that this movie takes place bevore the first one implies that Indy just regularly guns down swordsmen. He cannot recall the scene from the last movie like we do.
• The rope bridge is also iconic, although to a lesser extent. I like the use of the fact that Indy and Short Round are the only people present who speak Chinese.
• Is Indy actually posessed for a moment while the stones drop out of his pouch? I believe so.
• The happy end is the colonial forces gunning down the savage rebels. Now that's a political message you don't get to see often these days.
• Speaking of rebels: Why bows and arrows? We saw them with rifles and I'm pretty sure I even spotted a machine gun or two in the mines.
• Rescuing the village is character development for the Indiana Jones we saw in the beginning of the movie.
• Don't pretend like Willy and Indy have any kind of future together, please.
• What happened to Short Round after this story? The boy was extremely capable. And dreaming of going to America. Did Indy just ditch him somewhere?

It is the weakest of the three only existing Indiana Jones movies but still entertaining enough. The long action sequence that is the second half is cool to watch and until then you have Short Round to carry the film. It holds up on that end. We'll see how the third movie fares, when I rewatch that.