Warhammer-stuff is notoriously expensive. As my son has grown into the hobby, I've tried to help him conserve his pocket money: Taught him to work with OnePageRules as they're free and more liberal in statting things and crossing army-boundaries. Started us out with skirmishes, six or eight fighters per side. And he taught his friends. Some of the boys spend more than my son does on miniatures. That's okay. But I've constanly been looking for ways to make more out of what we have.
My son has two squadrons of Tau soldiers, a Kroot warband (which was made for 40k skirmishes as a box, I believe) and some Kroot hounds. He needed more fire power against tough enemies. And he had spare parts: The limit GW imposes on how many fighters you can put together with a single box is basically in torsos. But you do get spare heads and arms and sometimes even legs and weaponry.
On Kleinanzeigen I saw a dude who sold a Kroot-captured sentinel he had kitbashed. I liked the Idea. A lot. So I got to work with plastic packaging from cottage cheese, the injection-mold-frame from some Tau soldiers, some Kroot bits, cardboard and Fimo Air:
The lascannon is magnetically attached so I can, at some later point, make alternative weapon loads. This walker was captured by the Kroot and is now used for fire support, much like a Krootox would be. They, of course, krootified it a bit:
Yes, I know I misspelled "KROOT" in the Tau glyphs but Tau infantry will get the point.
I felt that hanging some dried enemy hands as trophys or war fetishes was a good idea. The machine needed to look more savage. So savage indeed that...
So, I've finished crafting my 200 points army for MAC Attack:
It's been a pleasure making this. I have the following units in my roster:
Auxiliary ground forces: Four squads of exotrooper infantry and six assault gun battletanks. The tanks are plastic (from food packaging) and beads and tooth picks. The infantry is the same except for the heads which are tiny balls I formed with FIMO air.
Auxiliary air forces: Three attack helicopters and two armored transport helicopters (for getting that infantry to their area of operations. The attack choppers have central bodies made of cardboard, the rest is all plastic from food packaging and some beads for cockpits and rocket pods.
Three class 1 MACs: The ST-7 combat body can be equipped with different weaponry. One is a sniper, one has two plasma pistols and one has jump jets and swords. They are made mostly from plastic packaging and beads and wire.
Three class 2 MACs: The War Stomper in the back is the commander's vehicle of choice. The artillery spider (on the right) offers long range fire support. The Landsword mech is a general purpose combat unit designed to solo through almost any scenario. The spider is mostly plastic packaging and wire and beads, the other two MACs mix in cardboard and there are also some toothpicks involved. Especially proud of the landsword.
My single Class 3 MAC: The Heavy Gatwalker. Can blow away hostile MACs with single shots but only carries limited ammunition. Mostly cardboard and, once again, food packaging and beads.
I plan on doing a league of MAC with some friends and my son. The first games will be 50 points only, so only a fraction of these. But I'm ready now.
Also, for those who wonder what these things look like before painting:
Lately, my son and I have been having table top strategy battles of different flavours. We used mostly One Page Rules (Grimdark Future FTL Warfleets and Grimdark Future Firefights) and some Brikwars (Quickwars-Rules with some house rules attached). I'm not sure where the sweet spot is but as somoene who has been burned by Games Workshops as a teen, I really like systems where you do not need a massive army of minis to fight cool battles on the table.
Like I stated before, anyone can make space ships for Grimdark Future FTL Warfleets from scratch. When it comes to infantry in something like Grimdark Future Firefights, I can't make those myself but one investment into, say, a WH40K Tau scout squad, will set you up with all you need for less than 40 Euros. That's what my son did last week. He could conveivably make two armies of 300 points each out of that set but he only wants to make one anyways.
Anyhow I noticed that there are several very different aspects of the miniature wargaming hobby you can enjoy (or not):
1. Planing your army. Thinking about what to take into battle, what to equip, what their background is. I really like that part.
2. Building your minis.* Some buy whole, some like to craft fine details and customized the crap out of the minis. Others will just take Legos and be done with it.
3. Painting your minis. A distinct step from the one above because people will take stock 40K-Marines and turn them into works of art but eshew any actual crafting in the process. I always disliked painting minis (a lot).
4. Actually playing the game (!). Whether cometitively or just for fun and laughs with friends (different games demand a different level of seriousness, after all). Rolling dice, measuring distances, outwitting your enemy. Like.
*Making a tonk is fun. Playing it is as well. Look at what these two guys (blokes?) are doing with it:
Fuck yeah! The kids and I built several tonks by now. The only downside is the massively printer-unfriendly (but free!) rules doc.
But lets ramble on back to our four kinds of enjoyment of the hobby. I'll go through all table top strategy games I've _ever_ played and rate them on the fun-scale on each four accounts. Also how many units you'll typically field and how much of a money sink they are because yes, that is a big factor.
Warhammer Fantasy Battles (sometime in the late 90s)
1. Planning?
Very fun. Lots of options, a ton of armies to choose from, highly customizable. Liked it.
2. Building?
Medium. You could mod stuff but with metal figures it was hard and also GW didn't like too drastic a change (or god forbid third-party-minis) if you wanted to play tournaments at their stores.
3. Painting?
Lots of painting to be done, that's for sure. For a lot of people this was the main draw of the hobby. I myself didn't like it but that's just me.
4. Actually playing?
Slow and tedious but all together okay. It didn't really help that we all had different states of information and that the chaos players always seemed to be cheating.
5. How many guys?
Lots. My dark elves army had like 100 minis in it and that was a normal-sized army.
6. How much money?
Too much. Fuck you, GW. I spent most of my pocket money on dark elves for several years and then they rebootet them, making my entire army worthless.
Warhammer 40K (sometime in the late 90s)
1. Planning? Pretty much the same as with Warhammer Fantasy.
2. Building?
I think there are more opportunities for customizing in 40k, because there are more weapon-loadouts and more war machines you can modify.
3. Painting?
Same as fantasy.
4. Actually playing?
Didn't play as much 40k as fantasy. I remember that my dark eldar sucked.
5. How many guys?
I think it was fewer models on average than fantasy but it's in the same general area of army-size. Many.
6. How much money?
Too much, I still think.
BrikWars 2001
1. Planning?
Almost too many options. You gotta think up a theme and then stick to it. I loved it, still dream myself into the paracosm I made up as the background of my three different armies in BrikWars.
2. Building?
It's Lego. If you love it, you love it.
3. Painting?
Nope.
4. Actually playing?
Fun but don't expect a balanced experience. Also it can take a while if you have complex vehicles (worst of all: robots and/or super-power-users).
5. How many guys?
As many as you want/have. I think the biggest battle I ever fought had around sixty minifigs on my side but also like two dozen vehicles.
6. How much money?
Lego isn't cheap but if you already have it...
QuikWars / BrikWars Lite
1. Planning?
Much quicker than the original BrikWars but also much less detailed. If you obsess over the difference between a sabre and a warhammer or a revolver and an uzi, this isn't for you.
2. Building?
It's Lego. But you will likely destroy much of it.
3. Painting?
Nope.
4. Actually playing?
Quick and messy. Played this with my kids a few times. It's usually quite the massacre.
5. How many guys?
Easier to handle large numbers of dudes than the original but still, I wouldn't want to have more than a few dozen units on the table.
6. How much money?
Same as BrikWars 2001.
Next Generation Special Force
This one I made myself. It uses Lego Technics dudes and weapons I made mostly from cardboard and warhammer paint. It's for having small squads fight each other.
1. Planning?
Takes a lot of planning. I made the rules myself but it is a complex game.
2. Building?
You gotta make any weapon from scratch. Also all other gear for your Lego Technics-guys.
3. Painting?
Equipment and weaponry not included. Make it.
4. Actually playing?
Very detail-oriented: Kneeling, being prone, sprinting. How many shots to fire in a turn. It's for the people who enjoyed video games like Jagged Alliance.
5. How many guys?
I only have eight figures for this but that seems close to what I can handle anyways. You could conceivably double that but I think more than that and it gets too bogged down with paperwork.
6. How much money?
Don't know. Second hand figures go between 5 and 10 Euros upon my last check. You could build a squad for around 30 Euros.
One Page Rules Grimdark Future Firefight
1. Planning?
Takes a moderate amount of planning. I make little cue-cards for each warrior of a squad.
2. Building?
You can but I'm better at making war machines and that is more for the regular GDF.
3. Painting?
Like the original Warhammer Fantasy and 40k. I don't really like it but my son greatly enjoys it.
4. Actually playing?
Fun! We've played quite a few battles with this system and my son also plays it with his friends. The turn order and the streamlining of attack-dice compared to Gamesworkshops systems is good. Nobody sits around for half an hour while the other player does their turn.
5. How many guys?
Depends on your army, of course, but I've seen between five and twelve minis fielded in a regular 300 points game.
6. How much money?
Even if you buy original Gamesworkshop figures you can get a 300 points squad in a single box. My son got himself a Tau squad with drones and his friend has a pack of tyranids and that's all you need. Also you can use third-party miniatures or even print and play little cardboard standies, which is basically for free.
One Page Rules Grimdark Future FTL Warfleets
1. Planning?
Quite a bit because you'll be customizing each ship you have. In the end you have a fleet sheet with all the info on it and I like it.
2. Building?
If you want, you can very much build everything you need for this game yourself. I myself have made several fleets and so did my kids. It's fun.
3. Painting?
Oh yes. You can and should paint your ships.
4. Actually playing?
It's good. Four turns of intense space battle are fun.
5. How many guys?
Not guys but ships. A fleet will have five to ten ships plus squadrons if you want those. Nothing too taxing.
6. How much money?
None if you make it all yourself. Well you need dice but you get it.
Tonks!
1. Planning?
Not much. Basic tonks are mostly the same. You _can_ do some customization but these are the "advanced" rules.
2. Building?
Fuck yeah! You can (and must!) make your own tonk. If you don't like crafting, you could use a toy or model tank but seriously, it's about TONK. I use wheels from Kinder Überraschung vehicles for turret mechanisms. You can also use bits of soap dispensers or magnets. Have fun making a crazy tank! If you can't do a turret, a Sturmgeschütz will do as well - just have the cannon attached directly to the hull.
3. Painting?
You probably wanna paint your tonk. But its's not a must. Do what you please.
4. Actually playing?
Short, fun, crazy tonk-battles. Very good.
5. How many guys?
The game posits that every player should field only one tonk but you could conceivably go up to three vehicles per player.
6. How much money?
None, if you do it right.
Wasteland Carfare
This is my own home-brew remake of Gaslands. Play the original if you want more in-depth driving mechanics and stuff. I will release this sometime this year (in both English and German).
1. Planning?
You gotta stat those postapocalyptic cars. It takes some planning.
2. Building?
Take toy cars and upgrade them to postapocalyptic war machines. It's a lot of fun and a great way to use surplus parts from other wargames. Or plastic framing. I used plastic frames and parts of food containers to create some vehicles from scratch even.
3. Painting?
Not strictly necessary but if you want, you can make small works of art out of your vehicles.
4. Actually playing?
I love it, my son finds it meh. I guess your mileage varies. A 100-points-battle usually doesn't last longer than half an hour.
5. How many guys?
A 100-points-warband is between three and six vehicles, usually.
6. How much money?
If you already have toy cars, then practically none. If you don't they are dirt-cheap (or search the sand-pit of a playground near you. You're bound to find some that are even pre-aged for more postapocalyptic style).
An unnamed Kaiju game by my son
My son invented a mech-vs-kaiju-game played with legos in a little lego city.
1. Planning?
You gotta stat your mech or kaiju before battle. There are a number of modules/upgrades/skills to pick from. It's quick enough.
2. Building?
Lego it up. If you like it, you like it.
3. Painting?
Nope.
4. Actually playing?
A battle is through in around 15 to 20 minutes. It's fun enough but probably needs more balancing than a 10-year-old is willing to go for.
5. How many guys?
Just two (plus support in the shape of parasites and tanks, if you choose those).
6. How much money?
If you already own Lego, it's free. If not, then not.
An unnamed Star Wars space battle game by my son
Also made by my son. This one is about space battles and involves ship-to-ship boarding actions and lots of shooting.
1. Planning?
You pick your ship classes, you write down what systems they get. It's fairly quick.
2. Building?
Lego.
3. Painting?
Nope.
4. Actually playing?
Space battle lasts anywhere between ten and thirty minutes. It's cool that you can attempt to board enemy vessels and it can even backfire if you lose your crew. That aspect I like most about it.
5. How many guys?
We played with four vs four ships, which was manageable.
I love Zeppelins. Not blimps. Airships. Rigid structure, an aerodynamic hull around a series of gas chambers. That sort of thing. Now for the past year or so my older son and I have sometimes dabbled in One Page Rules Grimdark Future FTL Warfleets. The rules are simple enough (two pages, not one, but one may argue that you can print double-sided). But it takes place in space. My son loves it. I like it too. But I feel one could do an airship mod.
Working on it. Of course.
Now airships _were_ used as weapons of war for a couple of years that included World War I. Afterwards there were some attempts to have them in a military role by the victorious powers. The USA built the USS Akon, which was a flying aircraft carrier – although more of a scouting vessel than made for direct sorties against hostile targets. I think the British and French also built them. Germany wasn't allowed the big toys anymore after the Treaty of Versailles so the greatest fans of the technology only built civilian airships.
A little aside on those: The Graf Zeppelin was the vessel which I personally would want to travel on if I ever got my hands on a time machine. Global readers will associate the term Zeppelin with the Hindenburg, however. It was known for two things: Having swastikas on its tailfins and spectacularly (and on camera!) going up in flames. Two things to save the honor of that airship: The Nazis didn't like Zeppelins because by that time airplanes were faster, more reliable and had more range than before and they thought the Zeppelin technology to be of no use for the military. The swastikas on the tailfins were not supposed to show how nazi the ship was but simply the national flag at the time. As for the fireball: The Hindenburg was designed to be run with (nonflammable) helium gas. But pre-war sanctions against Germany meant that the one big producer of helium at the time, the USA, didn't deliver that gas so they had to go with hydrogen, which has somewhat (8%) greater lift and far greater risk.
Alright, aside's over, let's talk about these hypothetical war Zeppelins. An airship is mostly gas-bags and the structure supporting them. The gondolas, both for command/control and with motors, are tiny attachments to that. Yet, an airship cannot carry all that much additional cargo/ammunition/personell. One cubic meter of helium only lifts something like 1.1 Kilogramms. That is not much and the reason, airships were so large.
So if we're gonna make a tabletop game out of this, we'd have to assume helium as lift-gas and ignore fire and loss of lift due to damage entirely. I dislike my games to be bogged down by to many detailed rules. Ships in Grimdark Future have between two (light) and four (heavy) ship systems. I'd go one lower for my airship mod because installing a cannon on such a craft is a big deal. Also, ships in the original game have turrets that become more powerful for the bigger craft. Airships will have a set of machine gun emplacements around their hull which means they all have the same base "turret" weaponry.
What weapons could one sensibly attach to an airship? Bombs (the most common weapon for such craft historically) are, of course, irrelevant in air-to-air battles. But there are other options:
Machine Gun Battery: If you expect to encounter lots of enemy planes trying to swarm you, this would be a sensible option. It simply means that there are _more_ machine guns on your ships - with the respective crews to fire them.
Anti Air Howitzer: I suppose an airship can carry a heavy infantry howitzer like mountain troops used to lug around. 150mm caliber, airburst-ammunition – this would be the king of weapons in the skies.
PomPom Battery: Heavier than machine guns, heavier than even heavy machine guns. The PomPom was a maxim machine gun upscaled to a 1-inch-caliber and did indeed see use as an anti-aircraft-weapon in WWI.
Dumbfire Rocket Rack: Just a bunch of rockets to saturate a distant area of the sky with explosions and shrapnell. The original game already has something like this which barely needs any modifications to work.
Wire Guided Missile System: This is the sniping weapon of the game, I guess. It could be made even though it is more of a WWII-kind of technology. We are doing Dieselpunk here so I guess it'll be alright.
3"-AA-Battery: This is the broadside-weapon in this system. Imagine like two cannons per side of the airship, firing smallish howitzer-rounds.
With weaponry out of the way, what ship systems would seem somewhat plausible?
Reinforced Structure: Your typical armour-upgrade. HP instead of anything actively useful.
Crew Parachutes: Good for morale if you play with such a thing.
Extra Motor Gondola: More speed!
Weapon Swivel-Mount: Choose one of your weapons. It can now turn 360 degrees. I imagine it's hanging below the ship.
Advanced Fire Control: Hit better.
Airplane Support Bays: Helps the swarms of fighters around you somehow.
Turret-Upgrade: Replaces the generic MGs with PomPoms?
Harpoon-Cannons: Entangle an enemy ship. This makes sense if you are smaller and want to hinder a larger craft from participating in the fight more.
This is missing rules for boarding, which I bemoan. I once met a nice oder lady at a lecture on airships who was not only leader of a club of Zeppelin-enthusiasts but also the granddaughter of Germanys only air corsair (the man had, in WWI, actually captured a Norwegian seagoing vessel with his airship). I believe that boarding may be unrealistic but is cool enough that it should be an option (in the base game as well - send over those space marines with boarding pods!). Have to think about it but I fear it would complicate things too much.
So, we started playing One Page Rules: Grimdark Future – FTL Fleets in our home. And it was quite cool. Let me tell you how it went down between me and my two sons (almost 9 and almost 4).
The Combatants
While I only had one of my projected three gamepunk-fleets finished, my older son had not been idle and had (inspired by what I was doing) made spaceships himself. His own fleet was the Blaze Fleet, consisting of four ships created from scrap parts that we had lying around the workshop. He does have an elaborate back story for his people (beaver-like aliens seeking Earth which they know from received transmissions) but let's not get too deep into the details. The fleet consisted of three heavy ships and one medium ship according to the OPR rules.
My younger son had watched me play Sword of the Stars and liked the ships of the Zuul. He asked his brother to make him some and the result was another fleet of three large and one medium ship cobbled together from stuff lying around (and lots of hot glue). The specialty of this fleet was ramming – every ship had the Reinforced Ram upgrade, which would definetly come in handy.
My own fleet was cardboard-printed. The ships were mantis ships from FTL. As I was trying to gauge, what works in the game and what doesn't (for when I need to battle real enemies, not my kids) and went for a somewhat rounded fleet composition with lots of smaller craft: One medium ship as a flagship, three light ships armed with rocket pods (which would rule against squadrons but my enemies had none ...), two light ships designed for ramming (love those!) and four squadrons of gunships (to be ready for anything).
The Battle
Our dinner table was the battlefield. In the center we placed a round container lid as a central planet. A large D20 was the moon. Some boxes and stones were an asteroid swarm. Four red D10 were objectives placed in orbit. In addition to these standard objectives according to the rules of OPR FTL, each fleet had their own-set goals for an extra victory point: The Blaze Fleet had to keep its flagship alive, the Zuul had to fire on the planet each turn, the mantis had to destroy at least one capital enemy ship.
Turn 1
As my ships were smaller than both enemies, it didn't matter to me that my older son won iniative and my younger son came in last. I split my force: The five small ships went to intercept the Blaze Fleet, firing a first volley of rockets and doing one point of damage to one of the capital ships. The gunship squadrons went ahead and charged into the smallest ship of the Zuul fleet and started harrying it with their light weaponry. My flagship made a beeline towards one of the objectives and fired its plasma cannon, the mightiest weapon in my fleet, at the Zuul formation. To no effect.
The other two fleets also split up: The Blaze Fleet sent two ships towards my formation of light ships, opening fire. Their other two ships went towards the Zuul fleet and the objectives.
The Zuul fleet attacked in two directions as well, sending one ship towards the Blaze Fleet and three ships towards my mantis fleet.
Turn 2
The two ramming ships were in ramming position! So they did their thing and dealt tremendous damage to the front ship of the Blaze Fleet coming towards them (a medium ship, the smallest of that fleet), ramming it into the ship that was following. The missile ships meanwhile swerved hard to the right in order to follow and hopefully support the embattled flag ship of the fleet that was all alone in the vicinity of a victory point.
The Blaze Fleet fired upon my ships and even sent a rocket barrage to my own rocket ships, dealing damage to one caught in the blast despite it being in cover behind an asteroid. The Blaze Fleet also engaged the foward ship of the Zuul, firing all they had. Their flagship collected a victory point
The Zuul gathered a victory point as well and fired on my flagship once again, dealing heavy damage.
Turn 3
Things were getting serious. My two ramming ships did their thing again, driving back the much larger enemy craft. My flagship broke apart when it was rammed by the slow but deadly Zuul ship that was coming towards it. The Zuul medium ship, still followed by my gunships, stopped to turn in order to get back into the fight. The clash of two of the Blaze Fleet's ships and one of the Zuul ships ended with said Zuul ship being destroyed and dropping an objective it had gathered before. My rocket ships got into the fray, hoping to regain the victory point that my destroyed flagship had lost and perhaps even conquer one from the enemy.
Turn 4
The last turn was deadly. My two ramming ships sacrificed themselves, killing their opposing ship and badly damaging the capital ship that was following. The other side of the Blaze Fleet killed off their Zuul opponent and collected its victory point, upping their score to two. Two of my rocket-armed ships kamikaze'd into the badly damaged Zuul heavy ship they were facing off against, destroying it and themselves. My gunships failed to destroy the badly damaged medium ship they were engaging though – my last rocket armed light ship could not risk gathering up the two floating objectives infront of itself because it would have been rammed apart by that ship. Thus, the Zuul flagship could slowly swoop in and gather up these two victory points.
The aftermath
The Blaze Fleet lost one medium ship and won. They collected two objectives and fulfilled their secondary objective of having the flagship survive. The Zuul fleet came in second, with two victory points from objectives. They lost two heavy ships. My mantis fleet came in last with one victory point from a secondary objective. Three squadrons and one light ship were the only survivors.
What I learned
Ramming is fun and very effective. If I had played for victory, my fleet composition would have been dramatically wrong: Had I taken bombers instead of gunships for swarms and had I not taken missile volleys but more punchy weaponry on my three light cannon ships, I would have dealt a lot more damage. Positioning is something you always have to keep up with: As ships have to move half their movement before pivoting, you have to be careful not bump into your own crafts.
The game was great fun. We will do this again. Probably soon. So I'll have to get the other two fleets ready...
When I was a teenager, being into Warhammer was really money consuming. I was never good at painting minis but I did want to build an army, and play – and thus spent several years worth of pocket money to make my Dark Elf army. Later I played BrikWars with friends, which was much more fulfilling. But all of that is in the past because it's 2023 and you no longer need money to play a tabletop strategy game. In this series of posts I will do a play-by-play on me making the recommended starting 300-point-fleets for One Page Rules: Grimdark Future FTL.
There will be three types of build to make here:
The Scrap Fleet
The Scrap Fleet made from found objects. Inspired by Ana Polanšćak and this post of hers. If you can turn a nerf gun into a spaceship, anything is possible! This is also for you if you actually enjoy painting models.
The Papercraft Fleet
The Papercraft Fleet. Papercrafting is kind of difficult at this small scale but we'll see what we can do. My son wants a Star Wars Fleet so I'll start with Star Destroyers. Leave it to some Japanese dude to make these things on the sub-3-centimeter-scale...
The Cardboard Fleet
The Cardboard Fleet. Similar to papercrafting but less 3D: I Intend to just print out dop-down-views of ships several times and then layer them on top of one another in order to give them at least some depth.
Of course, the most simple thing would be paper standies. This would also be my recommendation to anyone who wants to make an infantry-based tabletop army at zero budget. But I like to craft things so these three fleets will be my way. Also, my son wants to craft his own Scrap Fleet. I may also have to mix methods – I am as of yet unsure how to make tie fighter squadrons for that star destroyer without using beads. There is no way I can papercraft a spherical thing at that scale.
The basic rule is that I won't buy anything for any of these fleets. Only things found in my workshop/around the house/in the garbage are allowed. I can still use our printer and I can also use paints I already have. It's also possible that my friend Justin will paint some of my ships because it's something he likes doing and he is a thousand times better than me.
Anyhow: Be inspired. I doesn't cost money to get into the game. At least not necessarily.
I’ve recently introduced my son, 6,
to roleplaying. While we were in quarantine, walking tight circles in our small
garden, trampling what was left of the grass into the ground, we talked. And I
said something along the lines of “Let’s play a game. I tell the story, you
tell me what the main character does. It’s what I do with my friends when we
talk on the computer. Let’s start by creating your character.”
My son was doubtful for about two
minutes, then he was hooked. He’s
been demanding more and more adventures every day, more than I can feasibly
make up between working, keeping up with the family, and two children. But that’s
another story. This one is about my son becoming something terrifying: A
would-be Skaven-player of Warhammer Fantasy.
How did that happen? Well, the other
weekend he asked me what my favorite monster was in the now almost daily
roleplaying sessions. “Ratling,” I said, “that’s why they are in almost every
game I develop or lead.” My son wasn’t convinced and told me he liked
skeletons. I said I prefer zombies because I kind of see how they could
feasibly function (one of the drags about being an adult: Weaker suspension of
disbelief). We agreed to disagree.
Then the kid asked me if I had
invented ratlings myself. I told him no, they’ve been around in some form or
the other. Skaven from Warhammer for example. I followed up with a short,
child-friendly description of what a tabletop-strategy game is. Then I whipped
out the phone, googled some images of Skaven armies. “Did you play them?” “No,
they were too expensive for me. I had evil elves.” “Can we play this game with
my toys? Legos?” “Sure, why do you think there are still mechs left over in the
Legos that you inherited from me?” The conversation drifted elsewhere.
Then, while getting ready for bed
later, he talked to my wife. She came to me “He’s been talking about saving all
his money to buy an army to defeat you with rats?” the mother of my children
asked me, knowing full well that this was about some form of nerdery by her men
that her normie-brain couldn’t possibly understand. “Fuck,” I thought, this
wasn’t going where I had hoped. I gave a her a quick-rundown of what
tabletop-strategy games are, then of my youth with hundreds of Marks wasted on
the stuff. “I will defeat you with the army you never had, Papa!” my son called
from upstairs. “No!” I fathered back, “You are not going to get into Warhammer
before you’re at least 13 or 14!” Then to my wife who was standing closer to
me: “It’s definetly note made for kids.” “But he wants to save up for it.” “And
he can and if he does, he’ll have enough money for a Skaven army by the time he
is 14.”
The story doesn’t end there.
The next day, he was in preschool.
Quarantine had ended in the meantime. When he came back, he had two Eurocents in
his pocket that he didn’t have when he left: He had told his peers about his
plan to defeat his father with a ratling army. And one boy had actually pitched
a coin he had on him into this quest. My son had started crowd-funding his way
to a Warhammer-army.
I never wanted for him to get into
what my former roommate and friend Justin calls “plastic crack”. I have created
a monster. Should I curate stories of my younger years more? I don’t know but
it feels like I succeeded as a nerd and failed as a father. Not good. Oh well.
I don’t even know if I still have my
dark elves. If so, they must have been gathering dust somewhere at my dad’s
place for almost two decades. I’ll have to clean them up. Well. I guess I have
eight years to get them into fighting shape.
I like the basic principle of table top strategy a lot. As a youth, I had a Warhammer-army of dark elves. They sucked and I only ever played against my best friend who first had a high elf army, later an orcish one. 2000 points were our usual match size. I had spent a considerable part of my disposable money on the hobby over the course of about two years, roughly age 13-15. I was in the process of getting my troops painted so I could participate in 1500-point-tournaments at our local hobby place. Then GW decided to reboot the dark elves, making all my models worthless.
Seven decades ago my grandfather was a child in Nazi-Germany, playing war-games with a friend of his. These games were rather elaborate and involved not only toy soldiers but also diplomacy and even bureaucratic processes of the two countries involved. I found the files containing what my grandfather made up back then and here is the second part of my analysis of them. For the first part, go here.
All that stands in between the people
of Schmidtennistan and the undisciplined hordes that the
Dreessenistani call their army, is the glorious army of
Schmidtennistan. The „War-related“ chapter in the state-file is
filled mostly with lists, which gives an impression of how the armed
forces were structured and where the priorities within them were
placed by the government.
Seven decades ago my grandfather was a child in Nazi-Germany, playing war-games with a friend of his. These games were rather elaborate and involved not only toy soldiers but also diplomacy and even bureaucratic processes of the two countries involved. I found the files containing what my grandfather made up back then and here is the second part of my analysis of them. For the first part, go here.
Schmidtennistan is a military dictatorship. A protocoll about an answer to a diplomatic letter sent to their closest ally/constant enemy Dreessenistan casually remarks that it was replied by the Dreessenistani military dictatorship, which makes it seem like they view themselves as something different but just look at the names of the list of the Schmidtennistani government my grandfather meticulously created: Reichspräsident (president) General Duro, Reichskanzler (cancellor) General Duro [both the same person - just like Hitler at the time, which for my grandfather, born in the 1920s, was probably a synonym for government], Foreign Minister Oberleutnant Wallmar, Ministry of Interior Hauptmann (Captain) Feng and the list goes on. Every single member of government is apparently from a military background. It's your typical fascist junta, I guess.
A discovery by my father gets my attention to a long-term game my grandfather and a friend of his played as kids. In this series I'll explain what it was and how it went, as far as I can tell by the files I have here.
My father gave me a folder, coming from
a box from my grandfather, who passed away in 2001. The box had
contained some serious things, such as my grandfathers WWII-dog-tags,
his P.O.W. dog-tag from an English POW-camp (which, according to the
red-cross observations I found on line, was one of the nicer camps to
have been to), and something that only looks serious at first glance:
The state file of a country called Schmidtennistan. My father said
something along the lines of "this is like the stuff you do",
referring to my role-playing groups and design-attempts. Little did
he know that this folder contained what I now regard as my heritage
as a 3rd generation gamer. Let me go backwards:
My father was a fanatical board-gamer
up until his late 20s. He and a buddy of his, when not buying old
cars to destroy in illegal crash-course activities in a local quarry,
once made their own room-sized version of Monopoly in a basement,
complete with intersections and lots of additional streets. As I have
heard, they never finished a game with it, usually giving up after a
week or two of playing but the point is, they made their own larger
version of a game already taking way too long but adding the element
of choice of movement, something which Monopoly probably direly
needs. Be that however it may be, I'd generally thought this to be
what gaming-heritage I had. I was wrong by a generation.
Another weekend, another free game from me to everyone else! MadZab Gaming presents: Office Fleets!
What is Office Fleets? It's a tabletop-strategy game played entirely with office-supplies. Typical games take only a couple of minutes so you can do them at work, in your coffee-break. Paper-clips become star destroyers and a coin can be used as a die. A pen is a good ruler for this game.
Set up epic space-battles on your working-desk. Defeat your co-workers' fleets in events that will shatter civilizations! Download the three pages of instructions:
