All that stands in between the people
of Schmidtennistan and the undisciplined hordes that the
Dreessenistani call their army, is the glorious army of
Schmidtennistan. The „War-related“ chapter in the state-file is
filled mostly with lists, which gives an impression of how the armed
forces were structured and where the priorities within them were
placed by the government.
The navy sounds huge, especially when
compared with the ground-forces and the nearly non-existent airforce.
Whether or not the ships listed had any physical representation in
the form of toys that my grandfather and his friends used to fight
each other is open to speculation but the listing of ships is
accurate, well-kept and precise with names for each ship. Interesting
enough, the financing of the navy is part of the archived documents:
On the 20th of August 1940, General Admiral Lindenhof
wrote a letter requesting the build of three armored ships, two light
cruisers, fifteen destroyers and fifteen submarines, furthermore
asking for a new coat of paint for all existing ships of his fleet.
He argues that the Dreessenistani navy is currently heavily upgrading
and already way ahead of what Schmidtennistan has on the water. He
suggests that the cost of these acquisitions won't be to high as most
materials are already in storage and the financing can be done by
collecting donations from the public. This may seem strange from
todays point of view but remember that the Schmidtennistani people
were flaming patriots (so we assume) and my grandfather probably knew
of the Flottenverein, which had financed the German war fleet prior
to World War I.
The answer to that request is dated
just a day later, signed by General Viktor Duro, who is, as we know
by now, dictator/chancellor of Schmidtennistan. Of the demanded ships,
he allows for two armored ships, nine destroyers and ten submarines.
I find it rather amusing that my grandfather actually made a
difference in what was requested and what was then commissioned
within his little nation, as he was realistically simulating a
military bureaucracy. The letter assumes that the ships should be
finished by September the 7th, but the list of ships that
follows in the file is dated the 6th, thus raising the
assumption that the ships were finished faster than anticipated.
The fleet is mighty, fielding an
aircraft-carrier (which is something that Nazi-Germany never managed
to finish), named after its nation „Schmidtennistan“, a „large
combat ship“ and a ship of the line, both named after
Schmidtennistani nobles. The four armored ships are named after
cities in China, which I assume means that, since the capital of
Schmitennistan is „Tschungking“, are meant to be cities in that
country. Two light cruisers are named after sea-monsters, the twelve
destroyers are grouped into three divisions, one having the ships
named after different types of storms, one after predatory animals,
and one with bland German first-names (the last of which, Ulrich, was
my grandfathers first name). The twelve submarines are boringly named
„1“ through „4“ for the first division, „20“ through „23“
for the second, and „40“ to „43“ for the third.
This massive naval force is when
compared to the ground-forces, which I know were actually fully
represented by toy figurines that the boys used to play their wars
out. This practical reason somewhat hinders the fiction of
Schmidtennistan, but if my grandfather could ignore the fact that the
crew of one any of the ships in his navy was larger than the entire
infantry of the army, then so can we. The ground forces consist
almost entirely of infantry units, divided by not only their uniforms
and weaponry, but also by what they are doing. This is, of course,
due to the fact that they were resin figures that had a static pose
and thus only served one function. My grandfather listed them in
several categories, generally having a category and then a list of
soldiers with their occupations below. I'll spare you the full list
but let's go take a look at those categories.
The first one is officars, listing
twelve men in typewriter and one added by hand. These guys are the
leaders of the army, most including a rank after their position. The
next category is music, featuring a dozen men with different
instruments. Next up is marching infantry, featuring 19 marching
soldiers. Cavalry has a total of nine men on horseback. There are six
marching navy sailors and ten marching Jäger (hunter, which
generally declares light infantry in German military) in their
respective categories.
Very important for the actual war on
Dreessenistan are the next categories. First there is „Fighting
Soldiers“, listing ten prone and firing soldiers, ten kneeling and
firing and seven standing and firing. There are specialists, like a
wire-cutter and a gas-alert soldier, heavy weapon support-soldiers
armed with weapons like a flame-thrower or a machine-gun, a total of
48 troops. The next category is fighting Jäger, a dozen
assault-specialists by the looks of it. Following the fighting forces
is a category that translates loosely to „soldiers at campsite and
accessories“. Here we have listed not only soldiers but also
equipment such as a tent. Notable here are, besides the wounded
soldiers and supplying cooks listed, a dog and even a couple of
nurses, the only women in the Schmidtennistan army. All in all the
campsite features sixteen men and women. And a dog.
The next category is simply soldiers
„in the government building“, one typing on a typewriter, two
apparently just sitting around. A slim bureaucracy in this military
dictatorship. Following that there is an „Artillery“ section
listing five cannons, two mortars, some carts and horses for
transport and a total of only six soldiers to handle all of that
equipment. „Fortifications“ is interesting, listing three
bunkers, a bunker for a cannon, three combat trenches, one for moving
about and 27 (!) sandbags. Thus fortified, it shall be impossible for
the Dreessenistani enemy to harm Schmidtennistan.
On the bottom of the second page of the
army list there are two categories that by normal standards should be
their own branches of the forces: „Tanks“, just listing two
tanks, and „Airforce“, consisting of a single plane that is
labeled with a compound that even by German standards is convoluted
and long: Mehrzweckweitfluggroßbomber, translating to multi-purpose
long-range large bomber. Why need more?
The forces are severely lacking in
anti-air capabilities, I'd say, but besides the diplomatic incidence
with the Dreessenistani delegation arriving in a plane armed with a
machine gun, there is no evidence that the enemies of Schmidtennistan
had any more of an airfoce. Having played a lot of table-top strategy
in my time, I can understand. Flying units are a nightmare to play
with.
With that we'll end this series for
now. If I decipher some of the documents written in Fraktur, I might
make another entry if I find anything worthwhile in them. Other than
that this series has, I believe, shown that a) my grandfather was an
early table-top nerd and b) Schmidtennistan was more than capable of
dealing with the enemy in Dreessenistan. The latest entries are
fascinatingly close to my grandfathers actual participation in World
War II. After returning home from England, where he spent some time
after the war in a P.O.W.-camp, he must have found this very folder
and decided to keep it. Knowing that he later developed quite a high
fascination with his model-train, turning his entire attic into a
landscape for it, I guess the kid in him still held a soft spot for
his Schmidtennistan. Now it's in the next generation. I'll keep it in
the family. Maybe on October 11th, 2037 I'll have a little
hundred-year-celebration with my own children...
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